NEW BOOK     ABOUT ME     SPEAKING     THE CLASS     PRESS & MEDIA     BLOG     NEWSLETTER     CONTACT

Available Now

Everyone wants—and deserves—better sex. Dr. Nicole McNichols tells you how.

Drawing on the latest research, candid real-world insights, and years of teaching the nation’s most popular human sexuality course, Dr. Nicole McNichols dismantles the myths and taboos that hold us back and replaces them with practical tools and insight that spark real transformation. The result is a comprehensive, shame-free framework for understanding desire, building confidence, and creating deeper intimacy.

In the book, Dr. McNichols addresses:

  • How to reconnect with your sexual self and rebuild confidence through curiosity and self-compassion.

  • The truth about our pleasure cycle, why desires evolve, and how to embrace that evolution.

  • The science of arousal, and how connected sex strengthens emotional connection.

  • What the “orgasm gap” reveals about how we talk (and don’t talk) about sex.

  • How to navigate mismatched libidos, long-term relationships, and the challenges of dating in the digital age.

  • How we can expand our definitions of “normal” by embracing the full spectrum of desire—fantasy, kink, and all.

  • Why pleasure isn’t indulgent—it’s essential for overall well-being and mental health.

Empowering and enlightening, You Could Be Having Better Sex is the ultimate guide to a more passionate, authentic, and deeply connected sex life.

Dr. Nicole McNichols is an internationally renowned human sexuality professor, author, and speaker whose groundbreaking course, The Diversity of Human Sexuality, is the most popular in the history of the University of Washington. She lives in the Seattle area with her husband and three children. Follow her on Instagram and TikTok @Nicole_TheSexProfessor.

What They Are Saying

Dr. McNichols is brilliant! In this ground-breaking, stereotype-busting, and myth-exploding book, McNichols gives us science-based truths on how to embrace our sexuality and fully enjoy it. This book should be considered required reading for young and old alike who want to replace their inhibitions with mind-blowing sex. Every aspect is covered here — from normalizing sexual fluidity, to the how-to’s of experiencing shame-free sexual pleasure. The underlying theme that laces the book together is freedom (!) — freedom to fully explore who you are sexually, including your desires, fantasies, and actions. Relationship factors are included, too, especially those that are sticky to navigate. And she accomplishes this with a delightful conversational style, practical down-to-earth advice, and story-telling that feel like a big warm embrace. We plan on recommending this book to all our clients! Bravo, Dr. McNichols!

Dr. John and Dr. Julie Gottman

The Gottman Institute
Figuring out who you are when it comes to sex — what you want, what pleasure means to you, how to find people who want the same things — is a lifelong journey. As with any journey, a good guide is essential. And there’s no better guide than Dr. Nicole McNichols. Wise, funny, and deeply informed, Nicole is the guide — Nicole is the sex professor — you want in your corner, on your nightstand, and sitting on your shoulder, whispering words of encouragement in your ear. This book is a must-have companion for anyone who wants the very best when it comes to sex and intimacy.

Dan Savage

Bestselling Author and Host of the Savage Lovecast

In You Could Be Having Better Sex, Dr. Nicole McNichols delivers a delightfully honest roadmap to shed sexual shame and become open to the possibility of a richer sexual life. Applying her spectacular ability to thoughtfully and clearly translate complex findings from academic sex research into applicable elements, this book embraces and explains the many different ways people do and can experience sexual satisfaction. Candid, humorous, well researched, and refreshingly hopeful, this is the book to give yourself and anyone who’s pleasure you care about.

Justin Garcia. P.h.D.

Executive Director of The Kinsey Institute and author of "The Intimate Animal"

Dr. Nicole McNichols’ You Could Be Having Better Sex is the perfect blend of science, story, and suggestions. Drawing from her groundbreaking course at the University of Washington and her global presence as a trusted sex educator, McNichols translates research into real-life insights with clarity, warmth, and humor. She invites readers to challenge outdated ideas about sex, embrace diversity and agency, and discover pleasure without shame. Being both informative and inspiring, this book is an essential guide for anyone ready to expand their sexual literacy and cultivate more authentic, fulfilling sexual connections.

Dr. Lori Brotto

author of "Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire"

Class is in session, and the subject is pleasure. You Could Be Having Better Sex is a myth-busting, science-based guide to turning the heat up in the bedroom. Professor McNichols gives us the tools we need to feel more comfortable, confident, and connected. This is homework you’ll actually be excited to do.

Justin J. Lehmiller, Ph.D.

Host of the Sex and Psychology Podcast and author of "Tell Me What You Want"

About the Author

Dr. Nicole McNichols is a human sexuality professor at the University of Washington, where she teaches the largest human sexuality course in the United States, educating more than 4,000 undergraduates each year. She is the author of You Could Be Having Better Sex (Simon Element, 2026) and one of today’s most trusted public voices on modern intimacy.

Nicole has been featured in The New York Times and CNN, appeared on The Tamron Hall Show and NPR, and her work has been featured in Harvard Business Review and Psychology Today, as well as in national and international press. She is a sought-after guest on leading podcasts including The Mel Robbins Podcast, Almost 30, Liz Moody, The Model Health Show, The Dhru Purohit Podcast, The James Altucher Show, and Kelly Corrigan Wonders, reaching tens of millions of listeners worldwide.

 

Transform Your Event with Dr. Nicole McNichols

“Nicole McNichols is perfect for YPO audiences. She knocked it out of the park at our Valentine’s Day event—warm, funny, and incredibly smart. Her talk on keeping passion alive in long-term relationships was eye-opening and the Q&A was electric. She builds instant connection and brings real depth to her presentations.”

— Mike Raskin, YPO Seattle Event Organizer

Watch My TEDx Talk >

Featured Speaking Topics

You Could Be Having Better Sex: Cultivating Eroticism in Long Term Relationships: A playful, science-backed guide to sustaining deep intimacy and desire over time

A playful, science-backed guide to sustaining deep intimacy and desire over time.

Navigating Today’s Sexual Landscape in a Culture of Chill

How hookup culture, ambivalence, and dating apps are reshaping intimacy—and what we can do about it.

A New Holistic Vision for Sexual Consent

Moving beyond “yes or no” to a more embodied, empowered, and mutual understanding of consent.

Beyond the Bedroom: How Sexual Confidence Transforms Every Area of Your Life

Why owning your sexual power is the ultimate confidence booster—in business, relationships, and beyond.

Sex, Stress, and Success: How Sexual Wellbeing Fuels Peak Performance

Redefine success by using pleasure as a tool for productivity, creativity, and resilience—backed by science and actionable strategies.

Own Your Pleasure: How Women Can Reclaim Their Sexual Power

An empowering call for women to rewrite the sexual script and prioritize their own desires.

Sex, Longevity, and Peak Performance: The Science of Pleasure for Biohackers & High Achievers

Understand the science behind how sex enhances productivity, creativity, and overall health, offering biohacking techniques to harness pleasure for peak performance.

The Truth About Orgasm Gaps and How to Close Them

An honest look at gendered pleasure inequities—and the simple shifts that can close the gap.

Sex and Mental Health: Why We Need to Talk About Pleasure in Therapy

Exploring the critical—and too often overlooked—link between sexual well-being and psychological health.

The Future of Sex Education: Teaching Pleasure, Not Just Prevention

Why modern sex ed must center pleasure, consent, and connection to truly serve the next generation.

Why “Vanilla” is a Myth: Understanding the Spectrum of Erotic Expression

Challenging sexual stereotypes and embracing the full range of human turn-ons—with curiosity, not shame.

Book Nicole for Your Next Event

Transform your next event with Dr. Nicole McNichols’ unique blend of academic expertise, engaging presentation style, and sex-positive approach. Contact us today to check availability and discuss how Nicole can create a customized presentation for your audience.

INVITE NICOLE TO SPEAK

Newsletter Sign-up

Contact Nicole

Are you looking to book an interview or speaking engagement with Dr. McNichols or would you like to ask her to work as a spokesperson/brand ambassador? Please fill out the form below.

13 + 2 =